Love. Life. Everything else.



Monday, September 25, 2006

Ganja People!

Artist : Various Artists
Album : Jamaikan Me Groovy
Source : CD
Year : 2003
Genre : Reggae

Encoder : Exact Audio Copy (Secure mode)
Codec : LAME 3.90
Bitrate : VBR ~211K/s 44100Hz Joint Stereo
ID3-Tag : ID3v2.3

Ripped By : Punkster on 8/24/2006

Track Listing
-------------
1. 4:26 Big Mountain / Baby I Love Your Way
2. 3:31 UB40 / Can't Help Falling In Love
3. 3:27 Charmaine Burnett / Make It With You
4. 4:30 Janet Kay / Feel Like Makin' Love
5. 5:35 Bob Marley / Stir It Up
6. 3:12 UB40 / I Got You Babe
7. 3:24 Goldfinger / More Today Than Yesterday
8. 3:22 Aswad Featuring Sweetie Pie / On And On
9. 4:09 Annette B / You'll Never Get To Heaven
10. 3:36 Maxi Priest / Wild World
11. 4:01 Janet Kay / Missing You
12. 3:55 Boy George / Everything I Own
13. 3:49 Janet Kay / Walk On By
14. 3:06 UB40 / Red Red Wine
15. 7:09 Bob Marley / No Woman No Cry
16. 2:56 Soul Train / Three Little Birds
17. 5:26 Jimmy Cliff / I Can See Clearly Now
18. 4:03 Inner Circle / Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Total Playing Time: 73:42 (min:sec)
Total Size : 108.8 MB (114,063,394 bytes)

**Comment:
Something to be happy about: a limited edition reggae compilation. Kewl. Ganja! Thanks to bossing punkster of pinoybato. Ganja people!

and remember to breathe.

huhummms: Track No. 7
feeling: bliss

The Day I Tried To Live

Boys Don't Cry. Men do.
I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads


-Soundgarden

It's Monday. God, i hate Mondays. I so hate Monday mornings. I hate waking up early and trying to convince my muscles to start moving. For more than a year now, i've been waking up Monday to Friday finding myself alone. My mom leaves home at 4 o'clock for work. I'd be lucky enough if my sister comes home the night before, that means her doing all the chores that morning and me extending some precious minutes of sleep and snores. But that rarely happens.

But today was different, i woke up early from the usual. The first alarm of my phone woke me up, no more 5-minute snooze alarms, no extended sleep, no more where-was-i-in-my-dreams. I hurriedly fixed my beddings and headed to the restroom. And the restroom ritual didn't take that long either. I did the usual chores PLUS, i prepared for myself some breakfast. Yeah, breakfast, the word that wasn't in my vocabulary since college days. And a real breaksfast - fried fish, sunny side ups, rice and a glass of juice (don't ask why). Breakfast like this happens only once in ages. I also wore some formal shoes today. I prefered to wear brown slip-on than the usual sneakers.

What's up with me today? I don't know. I just felt different. Was it because of the long week i had? I had a busy week. Worked all weekdays and was deprived of my Saturday 'coz I have to proctor this scholarship exam. And Sunday, it was Jae's birthday. No big celebration but just a typcal Sunday Mass and lunch. Or was it from the argument that erupted later that Sunday? Maybe. I hate arguing. I hate pointing fingers. I always end up being the bad guy, the antagonist, the villain who dies at the end of the movie the hard way or the goon who drops dead at a single punch of the main character, the one who ends up beaten. And arguing with the female race are worse. It's like going to a battle. If you're not equipped with the right ammunitions and stuff, you're dead meat. I once scribble on my notebook way back in college, "If understanding Ladies were subjects to be taken in college, all Men would fail." Ladies 101, i think. If it would be an elective, it would be an all girls class. Tsktsk. Poor guys.

When i got to the office, i turned off the main lights and kept the small downlights on. Pa-gloomy effect. I wasn't feeling good, but sick. I wasn't sleepy at all having only 4 hours of sleep. I slept late thinking about a lot of things. I was hurt, i'm sure of that. The tune of the my officemate's slow acoustic music made me want to cry. But i don't know what to cry for. Was it because somebody just cursed me? Was it because somebody didn't care for me? Or was it because once of these days, one person will have to let go? I don't know. I just feel f*cked up. My ego hurts. My brain cells are frozen. I haven't checked my blog yet, haven't checked my mailbox, haven't logged in to my YM. I just want to write down something, hoping everything will be ok. **sniff sniff**

I'll be on travel tomorrow and Wednesday. Just in time for some soul-searching and sight-seeing. When i get back, i hope to replace this post with something nice. Not some crappy, on-the-spot written post. I'm gonna miss everybody. I'm gonna miss those who cursed me. I'm gonna miss the chatbox. It's still 10am, i guess i'll just have to live this boring Monday.

Remember to breathe.

huhumms: "Collide" by Howie Day
feeling: 50% lonely, 25% numb, 25% teary-eyed, f*cked up

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Kid in Kai

Buttercup
Intro: Haven't posted for the past weeks due to busy schedules, deadlines to beat, crappy web connections, alien invasions and missed breakfasts. Lots of topics have been running in my mind that would be worthy to be posted but the right words to say seem to run out. Then i thought of Kai. And my tired fingers just began tapping keyboard with these words...

Kai was born a Gemini. Geminis are known to be fun loving and intelligent (or so the horoscope says). Kai wore the biggest smile at home. Her smile would reach from ear to ear and we would avoid getting close to her she might bite our head off (nah, just kidding.). She loved chocolates and candies like nothing else in the world. You would actually see the sparkle in her eyes everytime my titas and my mom bring something for her. She would hug the package and jump up and down to show her excitement. Everybody would think she's some zoo animal who just got out of her cage. She also has the most natural laugh at home. She laughs because she thinks what she saw on TV is funny, and not because she has to laugh because everybody does.

And boy, was she intelligent. She learned writing her own name at the age of 4. I pity her for not being able to step up to 2nd grade because of the doctor's advice. She was in 1st grade for 3 months in 2 consecutive years. She would be over excited going to school every June, only to find out that she has to stop by September due to her weekly laboratory visits and monthly hospital admittance. Weeks before June, she'd be ready with her school supplies and my other sister would just drool seeing Kai with her brand new things. She would have a Hello Kitty (her favorite) backpack, Kerokeropi notebooks, Disney pencil case, etc etc. She was spoiled, and she loved it. She also went hi-tech when i got my PC in 2002. She doesn't know how to read that much but she was sharp on mouse manuevers and keyboard shorcuts. I can never forget the time when she begged for me to draw the Powerpuff Girls (yeah, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup) on MS Paint. She would be the one write their names after i finished them. She also asked me to draw Dexter, Cow & Chicken and I Am Weasel. I loved that smile in her face when i draw the characters as good as the original. She was also good in MS Word and MS Powerpoint. Whoa. At age 10, with no formal education, she could already create slide presentations. I saw that eagerness in her to learn. She would borrow my phone and put the forwarded messages in my inbox to her slides. Now, only her presentations remain in my PC, but i've provided her a special place in My Documents.

Kai was also the one who made me donate 500cc of blood every 3 months. Being an anemic, she has to undergo blood tranfusion every two months. Luckily, everybody in the family was of blood type "A". Both of my older brothers along with an uncle and a family friend take turns in giving Kai the much needed hemoglobins. I gave her my first drop of blood when i was 17. I have to wait for a few months to get the required weight. And boy, was it painful! Feeling the needle inside your veins, and seeing your own blood pass through the tubes straight to the blood bag. I can only imagine Kai's pain everytime she gets insulin shots every 12 hours. She was strong, and we love her for that. When she passed away, I've always wanted to donate blood to the Red Cross. I only did it once, when my other sister asked me as part of her subject requirement at school.

I missed that feeling of happiness knowing your blood runs in another person, especially someone really close to you. I miss the feeling of being a hero, knowing you just saved someone.

I miss Kai. Very. I miss her giggles everytime my mom tickles her. I miss the fear in her eyes and her screams everytime she sees a matchstick and we would just laugh. I miss her punches everytime i make kulit to her. I miss her giving the poor guy me a part of her food. I miss her seeing in front of the PC tapping the keyboard as if she knows what she's typing. I miss carrying her on my back and complaining "Bug-ata na nmo Kai oi." I miss her artistic skills when she cuts pictures from the newspaper and pastes them in her scrapbook. I miss her writing her name over and over again and asks if her penmanship has improved. I miss her singing to some tunes even the alternative tracks i have at home.

God, i miss her. **weeps**

Outro: Remember to breathe.

huhumms: "Apart" by Urbandub

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Love found. Love lost. Love unrequited.

What listening to Coldplay is all about.

ParachutesX&YA Rush of Blood to the Head

Remember to breathe.

huhummms: "Green Eyes" by Coldplay